ESTHER VASA'S BLOG

During my time of affliction due to a severe attack of Multiple Sclerosis where a major portion of my body was paralyzed starting April 26th 2011, a number of Holy Scriptures comforted me, encouraged me, lifted me up and provided the strength I needed to walk through this tough trial. Jesus, our Savior remained my ever present help, remained my refuge, my hope, my strong deliverer, a mighty fortress, my shield against the wiles of the enemy, my buckler and my everything. A number of spiritual friends in Jesus influenced me around this time. Among those Ms. Althea Bommer Ritter had been a blessing in so many ways. She gave me direction that God’s Word could become LIFE in us and RESTORE us. She provided forty healing scriptures and as I dwelled on the Holy Word, I found a few more that uplifted me or touched me in some ways. This is why you can see that there are a hundred bulleted healing scriptures. Trust that these might help you in some way.

Blessings of the Savior to you and yours!

1. Exodus 15:6 – Thy right hand, O LORD, is become glorious in power: thy right hand, O LORD, hath dashed in pieces the enemy.
2. Exodus 15:26 - And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.
3. Deuteronomy 32:39 – See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand.
4. II Chronicles 7:14 - If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
5. Nehemiah 8:10 - Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our LORD: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
6. Job 13:15-16 - Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him. He also shall be my salvation: for an hypocrite shall not come before him.
7. Psalm 6:2 - Have mercy upon me, O LORD; for I am weak: O LORD, heal me; for my bones are vexed.
8. Psalm 6:4 - Return, O LORD, deliver my soul: oh save me for thy mercies’ sake.
9. Psalm 6:5-7 – For in death there is no remembrance of thee: in the grave who shall give thee thanks? I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears. Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies.
10. Psalm 6:8-9 – Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity; for the LORD hath heard the voice of my weeping. The LORD hath heard my supplication; the LORD will receive my prayer.
11. Psalm 22:4-5 - Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them. They cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were not confounded.
12. Psalm 22:11 – Be not far from me; for trouble is near; for there is none to help.
13. Psalm 22:19-20 – But be not thou far from me, O LORD: O my strength, haste thee to help me.  Deliver my soul from the sword; my darling from the power of the dog.
14. Psalm 22:22 - I will declare thy name unto my brethren: in the midst of the congregation will I praise thee.
15. Psalm 22:24 – For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard.
16. Psam 22:27 - All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the LORD: and all the kindreds of the nations shall worship before thee.
17. Psalm 30:2 - O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.
18. Psalm 30:3 - O LORD, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.
19. Psalm 30:4 - Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.
20. Psalm 30:5 - For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
21. Psalm 30:9 - What profit is there in my blood, when I go down to the pit? Shall the dust praise thee? shall it declare thy truth?
22. Psalm 30:10-12 - Hear, O LORD, and have mercy upon me: LORD, be thou my helper. Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.
23. Psalm 32:7 – Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.
24. Psalm 32:8 - I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.
25. Psalm 73:23-24 – Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand. Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.
26. Psalm 73:25-26 – Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.
27. Psalm 73:28 - But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.
28. Psalm 91:2-3 - I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
29. Psalm 91:10-12 -There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
30. Psalm 91:14-16 - Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.
31. Psalm 103:1-5 -Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
32. Psalm 107:6 - Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses.
33. Psalm 107:13-14 - Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distresses.He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and brake their bands in sunder.
34. Psalm 107:19-20 - Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses.He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.
35. Psalm 107:28-29 - Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses. He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
36. Psalm 107:8, 15, 21, 31 - Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
37. Psalm 147:3 - He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
38. Proverbs 3:7-8 - Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
39. Proverbs 4:20-22 – My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.  Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.  For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
40. Proverbs 30:5-6 – Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
41. Ecclesiastes 3:11 - He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.
42. Isaiah 53:5 - But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
43. Isaiah 58:5-8 - Is it such a fast that I have chosen? a day for a man to afflict his soul? is it to bow down his head as a bulrush, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? wilt thou call this a fast, and an acceptable day to the LORD? Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh? Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy reward.
44. Isaiah 61:1 - The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
45. Isaiah 61:3 - To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
46. Isaiah 62:12 - And they shall call them, The holy people, The redeemed of the LORD: and thou shalt be called, Sought out, A city not forsaken.
47. Jeremiah 3:22 - Return, ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings. Behold, we come unto thee; for thou art the LORD our God.
48. Jeremiah 17:7-8 - Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.
49. Jeremiah 17:14 - Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.
50. Jeremiah 17:17 – Be not a terror unto me: thou art my hope in the day of evil.
51. Jeremiah 18:10 - If it do evil in my sight, that it obey not my voice, then I will repent of the good, wherewith I said I would benefit them. [Sort of a warning!]
52. Jeremiah 30:17 - For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.
53. Jeremiah 32:27 - Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?
54. Jeremiah 32:40 - And I will make an everlasting covenant with them, that I will not turn away from them, to do them good; but I will put my fear in their hearts, that they shall not depart from me.
55. Jeremiah 32:42 -For thus saith the LORD; Like as I have brought all this great evil upon this people, so will I bring upon them all the good that I have promised them.
56. Jeremiah 33:6 - Behold, I will bring it health and cure, and I will cure them, and will reveal unto them the abundance of peace and truth.
57. Lamentations 3:22-26 - It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.
58. Lamentations 3:31-36 - For the LORD will not cast off for ever: But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. To crush under his feet all the prisoners of the earth. To turn aside the right of a man before the face of the most High, To subvert a man in his cause, the LORD approveth not.
59. Lamentations 3:38-41 - Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good? Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins? Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD. Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens.
60. Lamentations 3:55-58 -  I called upon thy name, O LORD, out of the low dungeon. Thou hast heard my voice: hide not thine ear at my breathing, at my cry. Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon thee: thou saidst, Fear not. O LORD, thou hast pleaded the causes of my soul; thou hast redeemed my life.
61. Lamentations 5:21 - Turn thou us unto thee, O LORD, and we shall be turned; renew our days as of old.
62. Hosea 6:1-3 - Come, and let us return unto the LORD: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up. After two days will he revive us: in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight. Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the LORD: his going forth is prepared as the morning; and he shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter and former rain unto the earth.
63. Hosea 14:4 -  I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely: for mine anger is turned away from him.
64. Hosea 14:7 – They that dwell under his shadow shall return; they shall revive as the corn, and grow as the vine: the scent thereof shall be as the wine of Lebanon.
65. Nahum 1:7 - The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him.
66. Nahum 1:9 - What do ye imagine against the LORD? he will make an utter end: affliction shall not rise up the second time.
67. Nahum 1:12-13 - Thus saith the LORD; Though they be quiet, and likewise many, yet thus shall they be cut down, when he shall pass through. Though I have afflicted thee, I will afflict thee no more. For now will I break his yoke from off thee, and will burst thy bonds in sunder.
68. Habakkuk 3:19 - The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments.
69. Haggai 2:19 - Is the seed yet in the barn? yea, as yet the vine, and the fig tree, and the pomegranate, and the olive tree, hath not brought forth: from this day will I bless you.
70. Malachi 4:2 – But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.
71. Matthew 4:23 - And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people.
72. Matthew 6:22 – The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.
73. Matthew 6:33 - But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
74. Matthew 8:13 - And Jesus said unto the centurion, Go thy way; and as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee. And his servant was healed in the selfsame hour.
75. Matthew 8:16 – When the even was come, they brought unto him many that were possessed with devils: and he cast out the spirits with his word, and healed all that were sick:
76. Matthew 9:35 - And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.
77. Matthew 10:1 – And when he had called unto him his twelve disciples, he gave them power against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.
78. Matthew 10:8 – Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.
79. Matthew 11:28-30 – Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
80. Matthew 12: 22 – Then was brought unto him one possessed with a devil, blind, and dumb: and he healed him, insomuch that the blind and dumb both spake and saw.
81. Matthew 14:14 - And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick.
82. Mark 1:40-42 - And there came a leper to him, beseeching him, and kneeling down to him, and saying unto him, If thou wilt, thou canst make me clean. And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will; be thou clean. And as soon as he had spoken, immediately the leprosy departed from him, and he was cleansed.
83. Luke 5:17 - And it came to pass on a certain day, as he was teaching, that there were Pharisees and doctors of the law sitting by, which were come out of every town of Galilee, and Judaea, and Jerusalem: and the power of the Lord was present to heal them.
84. Luke 6:19 - And the whole multitude sought to touch him: for there went virtue out of him, and healed them all.
85. Luke 8:47-48 – And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him and how she was healed immediately. And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
86. Luke 9:6 – And they departed, and went through the towns, preaching the gospel, and healing every where.
87. Luke 10:8-9 - And into whatsoever city ye enter, and they receive you, eat such things as are set before you: And heal the sick that are therein, and say unto them, The kingdom of God is come nigh unto you.
88. Luke 17:15 - And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God
89. Acts 3:12 – And when Kepha saw it, he answered unto the people, Ye men of Israel, why marvel ye at this? or why look ye so earnestly on us, as though by our own power or holiness we had made this man to walk?
90. Acts 4:29-30 - And now, Lord, behold their threatenings: and grant unto thy servants, that with all boldness they may speak thy word, By stretching forth thine hand to heal; and that signs and wonders may be done by the name of thy holy child Jesus.
91. Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
92. Romans 8:32 – He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
93. I Corinthians 12:9 – To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;
94. Philippians 4:19 - But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
95. James 5:14-15 - Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.
96. James 5:16 – Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
97. I Peter 2:21 - For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:
98. I Peter 2:24 – Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
99. I Peter 5:10-11 - But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
100. Revelation 22:2 - In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life, which bare twelve manner of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.

This Ode was written on May 9th 2011 by Esther Vasa under the complete inspiration of the Holy Spirit. This was submitted to Dr. Brian R. Apatoff at 401 East 55th Street, New York on May 12th 2011 when she was in his office for severe backache followed by further tests on kidneys and bladder at NY Presbyterian Hospital. He was informed in an earlier discussion that she would publish it on her website. No part of this Ode can be copied, printed, used, reused or distributed without prior permission of Esther Vasa. Its a 134-line ode following a 1-24-12-24-12-24-12-24-1 style specific to the writer for this ode composed using iPhone notes.

Thanks to my TRUE LOVE, Kiran Yadiki for capturing this picture of me with THE KOHINOOR, Dr. Brian R. Apatoff

How come THE KOHINOOR has time in the world for this SILLY ROLLING STONE simply desiring to roll along with NO PULL OF PAIN?

Years of questioning, “Why the constant pain?”
At the ER for chest pain, shoulder stab, sudden abdominal cramps, stabbing back, legs giving out as I jog, bowel-bladder issues wondering if it was all in my mind
MRIs for Brachial Plexus, Rotator Cuff, some saying Tendinitis, some others Bursitis, some mere Scoliosis, then Spondylitis and the buzz words go whirling on my mind
Chop a carrot and the Pinky winds up and I stretch hard to let it go and then the other finger goes limpy and lumpy by the morning
Hope to rise up as a sweet cake but end up lugging like a suitcase
People saying, “Computer Professionals catch Carpal Tunnel Syndrome” and I say “Can’t be so with me as its not just one spot that hurts!”
Come home determined to figure out why my body stops working all so soon
At 28, may be I did too much but then I delivered only a single child and that too a Caesar not through a labor
Then a thought triggered, “Go-Organic all Veggie Diet” and may be that’ll solve, fiber-up, run like a pro, stretch like a cat, guzzle water, tried many tricks and was never tired of looking around for what could help me
Pain still sings it’s own sweet melody in the body
Perhaps too much stress to make ends meet but then I see myself a merry-go-round types
Wake up at 4am, say a quick prayer, finish the chores then try finishing work by 4pm only to reach home by 7pm – STRESS I declare!
Puzzled, bewildered and confused if some one can relate to me but then I say to self, “All is well with my soul!”
Try lift my voice just not sure when the chest will stop and so take it easy, no choir!
Wear heels, the silly rolling stone will lie flat for a fortnight and so, only flats she decides, throw all the footwear out
Plan ahead, not too sure if it’ll work out for so weak I am that I even hate to say am weak and keep believing I am strong in Jesus
Then arrives 2009 and I lay hold on all the promises from the Bible for therein is my only comfort
The months go running and I go fading when finally September sure brought it’s agony
Nimbly legs go numby, fingers singe and shock, ankles dwindle, knees drop and still no help
The neuro on the block says, “It’ll be fine” and I so know am not and I question if he knows his neurology
From September to December I only dream of pain full swing from dawn to dusk and dusk to dawn
By then I, a-good-for-nothing SILLY ROLLING STONE guess if it is MS but shoo away the thought for it cheered me not
Hated the two letters “M” and “S” so much that I didn’t want anyone to call me “Ms” Vasa
Had a fear if the neuro on the block would utter those letters eventually but then he writes an MRI a month, long wait, I hate and say, “God’s will be done!”

PCP recommends one Dr. Apatoff but then I wasn’t so sure if he’d do something
Anyway, fix an appointment, painful as it is, let us see if he has any clue what my electric body has
Sure, the first visit made me comfortable and the talk nearly confirmed I had MS but then “Why no fear?” I ponder on my way back home
Because God hasn’t given us a Spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind
I decide to get that lumbar puncture before the New Year 2010 begins
What difference does it make for I take my resolutions in bed with the savory Word which is my Sword!
I indeed desperately sought a wee bit relief from that affliction but why say it as the good Lord knows it oh, so well the pain and suffering on that Holy Cross
The kind and gentle Dr. Apatoff worked so hard to tap the spine with almost no pain
People said, “It’d hurt” or “Your head hurts” and I said “Nothing of that sort!”
The results arrive and I still don’t derive why I don’t fret
At least I know I have my options that kind and gentle Dr. Apatoff presented and some comfort was more than enough
I chose Copaxone, therapy began and I got some relief from that unwanted grief

Diligently started writing an MS journal to track each day, what I take, symptoms I face, changes I make, supplements I used or skipped, dosage of medicines and what not?
Prayerfully created a Facebook group, “Multiple Sclerosis and Diet” soon after diagnosis based on your words of being careful with what I intake to understand this worthless body in hopes of helping some MS body
Encouraged to see a good 1000+ people, some asking the same questions I had asked, some looking for tips or a recipe and some simply looking for hope
Started blogging on tips and recipes to fight MS just so there could be some help to somebody
Precious friend from South Africa, Elna joins me in my effort and we team up to help some body, pray for the needy but then that is simply not sufficient and it still bothers me
Through the treatment, somehow I still struggle thinking there must be other modes and many said these therapies are toxic and I guess I didn’t need those toxins
Suddenly an accident and a relapse followed by a whole galore of activity in the CNS
I trust the kind and gentle Dr.Apatoff but still I looked for a silly quick fix not knowing I was playing with fire
One deadly look at that report from someone who supposedly tried helping me and Dr. Apatoff’s fiery face made me want to hide
For why would I not trust this “Bridge over troubled water”? just as Simon and Garfunkel sang
I knew I was at fault and when you put that phone in my hand to place a call for the person’s license, I froze in fear for the first time and nearly disappeared in thin air
But you glued me to that IV all rough and rude making me wonder where the kind and gentle Dr. Apatoff go
A few minutes alone in the room felt like heavens and when you arrived you sounded calmer
Slowly said, “I will call from home!” and you understood immediately when I said, “A simple desire to be healed!”
I got my spanking for I needed it and as discussed got the refund in no time thus making it all clear to me that kind and gentle Dr. Apatoff was simply right!
Learn and move on, I decided but the pain never vanished
My company Arden’s Red Door Spas are a treat to anybody but for my MS body its a feat and so I say, “Can’t do it!” until MS is marked defeat
Lake George, Finger Lakes may be to some refreshing but to me with MS body no lake but bake with achy wakes
“Work from home” has become the norm for this silly rolling stone as any ride chides her body
Not sure if I can handle going to Times Square Church or Brooklyn Tabernacle for those seem too far that it could become a drag
Walk for 2 or 3 miles, stretch, bike and weights were slightly manageable and that was near BLISS!
Thankful that kind and gentle Dr. Apatoff could help my MS body do the things that it can at least do
Wanted to get more help but put off the next visit for as I knew you would send me for MRIs
Those MRIs don’t sound good or look cozy and so stayed away from seeking help for good three months

Took appointment three times and canceled finding one silly reason or the other
New symptoms emerge from nowhere, old ones recur but then it’s all a cycle and when will the rut of the wheels stop?
Finally, got in on the April 19^th explained all my umpteen symptoms to the doc who listened carefully and asked if the copy was his
I drafted my own silly analysis and so quite not sure what you’d think and so said, “No, its mine!”
The three MRIs went in a flash and it was not so bad with the guys playing cheerleaders at the Weill Cornell and yes you were right that was better!
Happy for a week as I got some help but suddenly this so-called myelin desires to break and forced a sudden brake to my body making me writhe and groan with no sleep from April 26th to April 30th of this blessed year 2011
Sometimes the Gentle Shepherd cradled me for half-hour sleep and what more can I ask I had a tryst with my Savior
He sure taught me sacred lessons from my bed of affliction and I moved from grace to grace within just those few days
I waited for the pain to fade away, called on Wednesday and figured let me take the pain and see for a few more days
But on Sunday after hours of silly research I called to ask if mine was SPMS
Your first question as to why I did not show up on Thursday or Friday left me amazed because you remembered this SILLY ROLLING STONE did not show up
Relieved when you confirmed it’s not SPMS by picking my call even on a Sunday

Then, the brain freezes and simply blips, ponto punches and pushes, unnecessary brain signals, wheezing crickets in ears, through and through all through the night
Leaving me dazed and hazed, couldn’t swallow or drink for a few hours and I wasn’t sure if I was losing it all aimlessly, ruthlessly and hopelessly
At 6:45AM on Monday I call and “I’ll treat you as my first patient” was your response and I sensed you were serious with that stem called the brainstem
And that was still not a relief as I wasn’t sure how I can get there to get some help
Fought with Jesus my ever-present help asking where my help ever was?
I said to Jesus, “I will not move until you put a new song in my mouth!”
Lo and behold, five minutes later, I sang the most beautiful song of my life that I cannot repeat
Then I rose up and said, “I have life…” and yes, in abundance that too in Jesus and showered, got dressed in lavender, my favorite color, stepped out, all shaky and trembly
Although I recognized a rare gem in Dr. Apatoff long back, I did not know until I got there how true that was!
Sometimes I believe am adamant to the point where I choose pain over a simple drug for fear of silly addiction
Got a grieving look and a scold from you for resisting to fill a prescription

The silly rolling stone although stubborn understands the benefits of all recommendations eventually… Sigh!
Perhaps Dr.Apatoff has a solution for every MS symptom because of God’s wisdom but then I am not too sure if I’d bother him with my silly MS problems, questions and curious observations
I notice something silly with tapering prednisone and you said it wasn’t silly and changed the dosage
Well, the kind and gentle Dr. Apatoff applied the BEST BALM to this silly soul when he said, “I am not going to allow that thought of wheelchair for you. We will fight it together!”
Hope sprung in this hopeless silly rolling stone’s heart just knowing that there is someone who totally understands the pain and fully empathizes so gracefully
When new medicines helped, daily updates and changes from a super-whiz Dr. Apatoff made it more comfortable I regret why I hadn’t seen the true gem even without this episode
This episode was a MUST for me to feel thoroughly blessed by God’s generous provision
You cared for simple things like when giving the IV you asked “right or left” and checked the left hand and I said it hurt adding, “It doesn’t matter just give it, am used to pain.”
You go, “I don’t want to add further tell how the pain goes”. After explaining how the pain goes, I thought for a minute how I never cared for such minor aches for they are all over
And when I forgot to hold the swab longer and it bled, you said, “Didn’t I ask you to hold longer… See, I don’t want that beautiful blouse you are wearing to get soiled”
In my heart I said, “It’s probably $10 but it’s special as it was my sister-in-law, Jessica’s gift to me”
I tried adorning myself or carrying something from my sister or brother or parents just to feel secure in my hour of pain and agony
I could go on and on as to how kind and gentle you are

Whoosh! My mind raced and my heart bled and still bleeds for those who can’t be comforted like I am
“I know I am in the best hands and I’ve had enough attention, now how about those that don’t even have someone to care?” I asked you
Thoughts of Prakash Punjabi in Hong Kong, whom I now dearly think and pray for as my son, who was diagnosed with MS at 10, currently 21 declared to be bed bound
Can somebody hear? This CANNOT be true. It sure is a LIE from the Satan! JESUS, help wipe out MS!
Why can’t he get some medical intervention to help him be agile like every other 21-year-older?
If it were my son, Anoop I would have it on me and I called him son and decide to ask you, “I will bring Prakash from Hong Kong some how but will you treat him, please?”
Prakash says his only friend is God and that pierced my heart and I figured I would be his friend for life!
I’ve experienced the pleasure of your care and comfort and I know I will be alright
I have a tirelessly caring husband, loving son, prayerful parents, concerned siblings, compassionate in-laws, comforting friends far and near, gracious colleagues and above all a God that never leaves nor forsakes
But, will you not consider helping Prakash?
Having felt a bit of sting in my body, the hour has come when I should watch out for those that suffer much harder than I
Heart-wrenching stories from the Multiple Sclerosis and Diet group members, MS fighters coping without insurance, who can’t go to a doc to seek help cuts me asunder

Is there something I could do to help my co-fighters?
I will renounce all my tasks, save the inevitable, to dedicate myself to help someone fight MS and eventually help find THE solution
“SOLVE to DISSOLVE the rising MS malady”, is and will be my banner until that glad day when we are free of MS!
For I felt its evil kiss on my face and detest it on others
I long to scoff at MS for GOOD!
Can’t we clone multiple hands and hearts of kind and gentle, Dr. Apatoff?
Your every word is a pearl of wisdom uttered my way but I missed a few I guess but will not going forward
Right from managing weight you gave me tips and I follow; they work like charm!
Your action, a merit to the receiver that can never be reciprocated
I see the dire need to expand your selfless service in this selfish world
Me, the under privileged, am privileged now and see the need to let others experience
On Sunday, a friend uttered, “God is preparing hands for you, Esther, rest!” and on Monday, I sure felt those hands
To me your care is life-changing and why not change more lives so they can lead a carefree life
You said, “I will wipe this out of your body so you will not remember this episode…”
So grateful for such a determination for me!
I propose, “Let’s wipe out MS out of the WORLD and give it a good riddance!”
Let us operate under the shadow of the Almighty for I believe YOU are the ONE to solve the MYSTERY of MS to make MS a HISTORY!
MS is a LIE; it should DIE!!!
What’s that single solution heaped with blessings to the millions like this SILLY ROLLING STONE that simply wishes to roll its normal course?
That sure will make us all, “The Redeemed of the Lord!”
You sure are God’s instrument for me and my co-fighters!
You asked what I’d do with the picture and yes, here with the ode goes your picture
Thus, this silly rolling stone awaits a CURE for MS…
“You are not just a rare gem, you are THE KOHINOOR!” says the SILLY ROLLING STONE.

Ah! Alas, will you not try a little more hard as we pray for divine wisdom and let all the silly rolling stones like ME roll freely while you shine forever?

[With special thanks to Pastor John and Suneeta who created this website and made this blogpost possible. Their constant prayers and encouragement are ever appreciated!]

TESTIMONY – PART V

The Global Business Intelligence team in Elizabeth Arden is a team that operates with quick turnaround solutions to meet the business needs. Some times I wonder if it is way too quick that it simply slips my mind unnoticed. Those lickety-split solutions keep our brains pounding and hearts racing from one pillar to pole and I enjoy it liberally. All this is very much possible due to the relentless efforts of everyone involved cascading from the top. Boy! Am I blessed to be in such a team? This post may or not convey how I feel but what I felt just melted in my heart to render soft watery liquid from my doped eyes, as they appear now.

I am thoroughly blessed by the divine provision to work in a company where minds and hearts are perfectly blended in a melodious unison as we work in a team. I so long to name them one by one but not knowing whether such a thing is permitted or not, I will refrain from doing so. Instead, I will hold the names close to my heart as I offer a special sacrifice of heart called “PRAISE” to God for each one of you. Without you and your support, I would have slipped into a thin slime way back in 2009. I pray that the Rock of Ages hide you and your families within the cleft of His rock and watch over you forever!

TESTIMONY – PART IV

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Ephesians 5:25

My husband’s absolute love for me is unconditional and is exactly as Christ loved the church. I would like to share this funny experience with him that toots his love for me and engages my mind in a little laughter.

On May 3rd 2011 I had to be taken to the Multiple Sclerosis Center by 10AM. I couldn’t eat or drink anything easily. At about 9AM, my husband purposed in his heart to make a nice-reveling smoothie that I will not resist to drink. He walks over to me with his Vitamix blender in hand, which he never held or tried for a smoothie and asked me for instructions to make a smoothie. I explain, “1 banana- 2 strawberries – handful of almonds – 6 ice cubes – 1/2 cup of water” to make two glasses. He gives a BIG nod and rushes into the kitchen as though he has it all under control.

A few minutes later, he popped all his ingredients, I imagine. But, no idea why I was hearing the Vitamix whizzing for a good long five minutes when a smoothie needs about a minute or so. But then, I could not call or shout from here in the bedroom. I let him finish it all up. He brings a nice tall glass of smoothie and it was all milky, shaky and lacked luster. He helped me sit comfortably on the bed and later hands in the smoothie into my hand. As he gave it to me, he had a questioning look on his face if it was even a SMOOTHIE. I exactly knew what he did. He blended the banana and almonds with 6 small cups of water for five minutes. When I said this, he goes, I heard it exactly like that I think. Funny him says, “Let me put this whole thing in refrigerator and we can modify later. For now, simply have a banana. How about that?” Lo and behold, I had a banana and we went to doctor’s office.

Just for your information, he modified the selfsame smoothie at least four times with different flavors after I explained him how and we nevertheless enjoyed the smoothies with a bit of giggle!

My husband says, “I am just an ordinary guy…” and I’d like to add, “with an extraordinary heart!“. Friends, enjoy the beautiful gifts in your life while you still have them.

TESTIMONY – PART III

This particular part of my testimony is a priceless pleasure in particular to me. When I saw the beaming face of my son, I knew it was to him as well. It doesn’t end there. My husband enjoyed a particular warmth too. Then, my doctor, Dr. Brian R. Apatoff who is a rare GEM was delighted to hear this from me. Jesus, the lover of my soul, has His own way of surprising us and amusing us and I just want His way in my life all the days of my life.

My son had a simple Social Studies Project due on Tuesday i.e., May 3rd, 2011 and the topic was related to “Mesopotamia and Ancient Egypt”. Normal routine is that he works on a project, completes it, and runs it by me for one final review before he submits in school. This time, he asked me on Monday morning if I could review it for him that evening. He said, “I will print it all out and bring it to your bedside so you can approve it.” I wasn’t in a position to think, read, assimilate and then approve. So, I suggested, he submits it as it is but he insisted I review it. At about 7PM on Monday, he brought his Social Studies textbook and said, he’d read the chapters for me so I could understand. A few minutes into his reading, my brain went foggy or I slipped into a slumber. In an hour, he sends this message out to his teacher <pasted below from engrade to his teacher>.

“Dear Ms.Flynn,
I need an extra day for my project because my mom had a medical emergency.I appreciate your help with this!

Thank You,
Anoop”

His gracious teacher readily permits him to submit the following day and here’s her message back to my son:

“Okay just hand it in first thing tomorrow”

He told me, “Unless you review it, I am not submitting it!” He sat next to me and prayed that the Lord Jesus helps me to review for him the next day. Tuesday evening, he  sets the laptop next to the couch, puts all the cushions so I could sit for at least five minutes to just browse through his textbook with him so I understand what he was discussing in his project. He helped me read through different passages he used is his project. Although I failed to remember in total, I got what he was using in his project. I needed to immediately rest after this and still failed to review his essay. At 6:00AM he woke up and walks to me asking if I reviewed. When I said “No, let me review now!“, he was happy as a hamster. He sat next to me until I reviewed it, made some minor corrections and finally prints it all out, staples it with his rubric and slips into a shower and off to school. I asked him why he was insisting I do it. His explanation, “All the projects you reviewed, I got a 100% and I just could not afford to lose this!” Tears rolled down my cheeks seeing this priceless pleasure of my son. I wasn’t aware of the fact that he was appreciative of my reviews. This blessed experience was a MUST in my life and I thank God for giving me this opportunity so I could be a GOOD MOTHER!